| Name | Gender | Age | Cost | Skills |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Eric Beasley | Male | 39y 2m | €1 910 p/t | Keyboards (100) |
| Hattie Welch | Female | 32y 4m | €1 950 p/t | Bass Guitar (100) |
| Moira O'Leary | Female | 52y 7m | €1 510 p/t | Vocalist (100) |
| Ruby Peterson | Female | 26y 11m | €2 103 p/t | Modern Dance (100) |
| Name | Status | Release date | Album songs | Singles in album | Position | Last position | Highest position | Days |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alan Bum | Archived | 2023-09-27 | 5 | 2 | - | 33 | 16 | 10 |
| Anal Bum | Archived | 2024-02-29 | 5 | 2 | - | 33 | 12 | 10 |
| Bags of Time | Archived | 2023-05-09 | 8 | 4 | - | 31 | 20 | 10 |
| Feeeeeeerrrrnnnnn | Archived | 2022-12-31 | 10 | 2 | - | 40 | 13 | 10 |
| Fern Fern Fern (Disco InFERNo) | Archived | 2022-05-18 | 5 | 4 | - | 40 | 26 | 10 |
| Fern My Name On Your Heart | Archived | 2022-07-14 | 5 | 3 | - | 41 | 21 | 10 |
| Fernly Beloved | Archived | 2022-09-07 | 5 | 4 | - | 29 | 22 | 10 |
| Fernly Fiendish | Archived | 2022-12-07 | 5 | 1 | - | 39 | 20 | 10 |
| Fernly Missed | Archived | 2022-09-23 | 6 | 6 | - | 30 | 18 | 10 |
| Flatten Me! | Archived | 2022-11-22 | 5 | 7 | - | 38 | 14 | 10 |
| Flying on A Massive Pair of SPanx Over Birmingham | Archived | 2022-01-09 | 6 | 3 | - | 52 | 34 | 10 |
| Gastric Band Rebellion | Archived | 2022-11-01 | 5 | 4 | - | 26 | 20 | 10 |
| Good Morning Britain | Archived | 2023-01-22 | 5 | 7 | - | 32 | 16 | 10 |
| InFernal Racket | Archived | 2022-06-20 | 5 | 5 | - | 36 | 21 | 10 |
| Nurofen Nights | Archived | 2022-02-27 | 7 | 4 | - | 51 | 28 | 10 |
| Philip Schofield's Nightmare Album | Archived | 2023-06-25 | 8 | 4 | - | 33 | 11 | 10 |
| Rule Brittonia | Archived | 2022-10-13 | 12 | 12 | - | 32 | 19 | 10 |
| Senorita-ta-ta-ta | Archived | 2023-08-14 | 10 | 2 | - | 25 | 19 | 10 |
| ShitAttack | Archived | 2023-03-11 | 8 | 4 | - | 26 | 10 | 10 |
| The Fern Britton Experience vol. 16 | Archived | 2023-02-13 | 10 | 2 | - | 31 | 17 | 10 |